Suppression

When we suppress others by word, action, deed, or drugs, or we label others, what message does it send to our reptilian brain? It gives us a feeling of scarcity, mistrust and doubt. Our fragile emotions are compromised and we become collateral damage for the machine. The matrix holds us in place, anyway. However, when we hear that we can only accomplish certain things, and we abut against the "system" whatever that systemic bulwark presents, then we give up or fight. It's the old fight, flight and freeze syndrome.  I understand these things. I have never been a conformist. I want to move things, change things, which is why I have been into movements. Why have I held so much in and why are so many of us so hard on ourselves? When you're told in so many words that you are worthless, and cannot measure up numerically, you draw into yourself into a fetal position. You stop trying. You become tired in mental capacity and body. People suppress your ideas, your words, don't include you, and then tell you you are depressed. What respnsibility does society have to assist us? I don't want to throw a pity party, but almost all the blind people I know have a layer of self-deprecation and bodily issues. Not only that, but many blind people "do bodily harm" by drinking and self-abuse and self-mutilation and self-neglect. They say to themselves:  "Here, let me help you out." The pain is so great and we can't stand it. Or, as I did many times as a child, when the heat got too intense in the kitchen, I'd shut the door to my room, and sleep. Just shut it out as one high school friend said. Of course, our parents did not cope well either. Yelling, cigarette smoking by mom, or another family whose dad was an alcoholic, in fact a few of those situations--it was all very toxic and intense. So, suppression is not a good thing for any person, community or group.  It messes with us. That's why I never took drugs and alcohol. I did not want to be out of control. Lynne Koral