working with people

Between the blind people who are rigid, and people in my life who are rigid, I barely know what to do. I get that way out of just acquiescing sometimes, or freeze or flight, and I have been better with people when they say something and try to read underneath their words. I did that the other day when my husband said that some people we know were feigning illness, and I said they had chronic problems, and then understood taht when people focus on them, that is part of their identity, and that is what they see. However, I still get defensive sometimes. Tonight, I told a friend taht we get disappointed and we want appreciation, and we have to appreciate ourselves before we can expect it from others. People who do not appreciate themselves cannot appreciate others, or treat others well. It's a struggle to know that I need people and not to be bitter. We are social, and we need people as Barbra Streisand said in her song "People." Koraling Lynne