I believe I created my own reality. It was a protecting or it was tagging and making sense of my reality. How could I know what it was since I could not see or verify it? I not only felt different--I felt crazy. I could not seem to convince people of my views. I alwyas asked questions, and always believed the questions were more important than the answers. I had an internal sense, since I was not distracted by what I could not see around me. I had a highly developed inner conversation and perception. I can see pictures in my mind, even though I cannot "see" them with the naked eye. I could imagine, and play with blocks, marbles, and listen to them or imagined them as people, and the different designs on the marbles would be Carol, or Barbara, or Joanne. I was creative and imaginative. Sounds had an eerie effect on me, since I could not always detect their source. I would lie on my bed and turn on my stomach when it was quiet in the middle of the night and I had the pipes contracting and expanding with the radiator in the house. I would turn on a transistor radio to drown out the sounds.
Getting back to the collective, and how we influence each other, and we are evolving, as the planet is a living planet, we must find a way to respect each other's views. Humans are complex. Many times, humans vacillate between arrogance and ignorance. We have to work with others to solve the world's problems. By working and building consensus, we can come to agreements, instead of individually trying to solve problems. Thoughts can be dangerous, because they cause us to come to false conclusions, or cause us to fear thoughts that may differ from our own. Then we label those differences as crazy, or we have to put people into mental hospitals, or we put people in prisons, especially women and so-called minorities. However, women are not really a minority, but we are subjugated none the less. We allow ourselves to be dictated to. I am not a dictaphone. I don't have to believe the recordings I received from the prevailing society. Yes, I am different, but difference is not dangerous. If we are different, and do not conform, we are locked into prisons, either jails or mental hospitals or asylums, to separate people with leprosy when Thomas Mann wrote about separating people, because of fear. Anyway, I have always felt as if I was different and had different ideas, and I thought it was because I was blind, So, I have created my own alternate reality. I would love to correspond or dialog with all of you reading and following my site. Mhy computer is having some issues, asthey are wont to do, so I have to back everything up, and have someone do some diagnostic work on it. It all goes back to trusting ourselves. If we don't trust ourselves, we cannot trust any one else. Koraling Lynne
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