Sunday, May 8, 2011

fFalse Idols

I am an idealist and have ideas. I've been talking too people who feel "beaten down" who have no regard for themselves, and I passionately want to coach them in skills of loving themselves, but seeing that they are smart, caring, skilled and versatile. If we accomplish something and are out-going and out-spoken, we are told, as I have been that I am militant, selfish, pushy, stubborn, etc. If we are passive, grateful, polite, lady-like, and conform, then we get a false identity and get rewarded financially and emotionally. What we need as disabled and poor people to not be siloed and to be mentored, have connections, and learn from each other. We get told that we have to be "independent, that we haven't learned how to navigate the system, we're not good enough, or haven't tried hard enough, and some of us make people feel uncomfortable if we tell them what could be improved in the system. We are told if we only dressed better, looked better, were not so narcissistic, or psychologically damaged, (it must be us) and it's us not the system. This has to be turned on its head. We say what we think, and not a stepping stool or tool fofr someone else's gain and each prop up the other to say that their dog guide school or rehabilitation system works, because, after all, there are always exceptions to the rule. I cannot be a puppet, and think that certain rules are important, but not arbitrary ones. When someone who specifically looks good because they are adventitiously blind, (blinded later in life) and have skills and an education, they are paraded out as the superhero, and there must be villains, the activists and advocates who challenge the status quo and the system. The stereotypes of blind people as passive, and being inspiring and courageous fits with thw two people who have been poster children for a state agency and people cry and help them, and don't help others. This is a toxic, dysfunctional way to treat blind people. This is the blind "haves" and "have nots." The others can fail on their own, and fall on their faces. Even blind organizations prop some up and use arrogance and judgment to cement their own power. I have talked to people about being passed over by even blind organizations. for what purposes are people being beaten down? If you have no money, you won't fight the system. After all, if you have nothing, it is your fault. Addiction can feed and fuel perhaps the isolation and the projection and reaction formation about others not being as good. It feeds into being separate from other people. Many competitive and hierarchical systems separate people and use rumors and informal communications to cause people to mistrust themselves and others, and thereby not making the necessary connections to network and build on their skills and self-esteem. Connection, trust and trial and error and being given chances help us seccceed. Success breed success, someone said that. The people at the top and agencies and organizations need to hold on to their power. I believe in sharing information and building people up, not tearing them out and down. Is Facebook a substitute for intimacy? Is there real caring? What have we lost with our mobile society? Is it really a cut-throate society? I hope not. I want to create a workshop that lifts the veil from these perceived truisms. All of us have inherent value, and many keep believing we need to prove ourselves, and that is due to not feeling good enough, and that we are "worthless" and should not be here, and we have no intrinsic value. I have spoken to women and poor people who are disabled or not, and how they have been treated, and no system is there for them to grow, thrive, and fly and think of themselves as exquisite flowers ready to open and bloom. I wnt to help people not just be the "exceptions" but the "acceptions" those who are not damaged emotionaly and financially, but have been able to forge building themselves into the fabric of the United States. Don't we have a right to upward mobility? To love, connections, happiness, mentors? Thanks for listening. I'd welcome your comments. I am not scary, but I am out-going, out-spoken, intense, passionate, and compassionate. I love to network, communicate, ask questions, and have many of us solve these complex problems. I cannot help the individual unless the corporations, agencies, and organizations change their stereotypes and biases. Koraling Lynne

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